May 8, 2005 - 7:51 a.m.
So Much...
Much has happened in the last few days. I mean a lot more than I thought would happen. I quit my job at Telus to work as a debt collector - a job that I got in less than 6 hours from the time I dropped off my resume. Eek!
I found out that someone I dated when I was twelve is now married! I'm starting to feel older. That makes two people I've dated now married.
I've realised that it makes more sense for me to go into nursing and then get my degree in holistic health because I will have a knowledge of both systems. So that means eight years of school for me. Probably starting in 2007... I'm going to be old when I'm done school. Oh well... I know that this is what I want to do.
I saw Downfall on Friday. It was a very well done movie, not easy to watch... There were a few parts that left me crying, a few that left me sickened and the whole result left me somewhat angry and disappointed with the human race.
That we've had sixty years to learn from our past mistakes and we haven't - we've marched boldly forward into "better" ways of killing and making each other suffer.
Why can't we learn? Why can't we see past our own greed and hate?
Our roommate left the theatre sobbing, which I'm way past I guess. I've seen and heard of these things for so long that I'd like to try to do something in my own small way... I'm still trying to figure out what that is.
The experience was surreal though... We watched this movie, full of bombed out buildings. Berlin had just been decimated by that point. I thought about Iraq, Kosovo, the Sudan... All places where people feel a fear like that daily. Where the wrong step could kill a person. After the movie, we stepped out onto Whyte Ave - full of drunken people looking for cheap thrills.
We watch the experiences of the less fortunate for entertainment,
I, as someone raised in Canada, have never seen war first hand. I have never seen suffering in the way that some people have. I know I am soft-skinned and inexperienced in many ways.
I'm glad for my privileged life and I hate myself for it at the same time. I do what I can, in my limited way and I can really only be satisfied with that for now.
